Barney woke up after the most legendary night ever, even though he
did not remember anything he just felt happy. He looked around and
could not recognize the room, of course this happened a lot to Barney
so he just got dressed and went out to the kitchen for some coffee.
On his way to the
kitchen he started to feel dizzy, the room was spinning around him
like the legendary time he rolled down a mountain in a barrel. His
body felt like it has been beaten with a stick for hours. In his 15
years of drinking and picking up women he has never felt this bad
after a night. As he entered the kitchen he noticed a note on the
table, he quickly picked it up, awfully curious on who this woman was
and started read.
Dear Barney
It finally happened,
it's finally you and me. I have been waiting for this so long. I feel
like the luckiest and happiest women in the whole world. You are the
most amazing, respectful and nicest man, last night was just perfect!
The romantic dinner, the long walk on the beach and the deep
conversation about feelings. I just can't believe this is happening,
you have been my dream since high school, I am just so happy. I
finish work at four, so if you want you can come over around six?
Love Alberta.
PS - Just to clarify
my answer to your question again: I do!
The first thought
that came in to Barneys head was: What the hell is this? What
happened last night? He tried to remember what he did, but the only
thing he could think of was drinking some beer at the bar in the
afternoon with Lilly and Robin. Almost panicking he ran out of the
apartment, jumped in to a taxi and went over to Lilly and Marshall's
apartment.
The time was 8:30
am, Marshall and Lilly were eating breakfast when Barney stormed in
the door.
He gave Lilly the
note.
“What did you do
to me?” He asked. Lilly started laughing and gave the note over to
Marshall.
When he was done
reading it he asked Lilly: “Did you seriously do it?”
“Did what?”
Barney asked.
“You know when we
were at the bar yesterday?” Lilly said.
“Yes” Barney
answers with a serious look on his face.
“Well, you said a
couple of days ago that you never wanted to fall in love with
someone, so Robin and I thought it would be funny to give you
something called a love drug. We slipped it in to your beer when you
went to the bathroom yesterday.”
“A love drug? You
drugged me?” Barney screamed.
“Well yeah, so did
you fall in love? This Alberta girl seems really impressed, and by
the way, what question did you ask her?” Barney sat down on the
couch and tried to remember what he asked this Alberta about, and who
she was, but nothing came to him.
“Maybe you should
just go visit her after work, and ask what you did” Marshall said.
“Yeah, I think I
should”. Barney answers
The clock was almost
six and Barney was now sitting in a taxi on his way to Alberta. He
could not figure out who she was, he did not remember any Alberta
from high school. Of course that was because he had so many girls in
high school that he could not remember the name of almost any of
them. The thought made him smile as he went out of the taxi.
He knocked on the
door and heard loud steps came closer. She opened the door and there
she was, Barneys worst nightmare, the mountain of a girl who stalked
him in high school.
“Hello my future
husband” Alberta almost screamed and lifted him of the ground.
Barney felt like he was trapped in the arms of a giant and tried to
get out of it.
“Future husband?
What is happening?” Barney asked.
“Stop joking my
love, you know what I mean.” Alberta laughed.
“No, seriously. I
don't know! My friend drugged me last night with something called a
love drug and I am here to ask you what happened last night. So
please tell me what all this is.”
Alberta's face went
red and her brow furrowed “Are you telling me this is a joke? That
none of this is real? Do you really think you can play with my
feelings in that way?”
“I am not playing
with anyone’s feelings, I just want to know what happened last
night.”
“Okay, I will tell
you what happened last night. You were sitting alone in a bar and
crying. I saw you and went over to talk to you. After we talked for a
while you became happy, you wanted to do anything with me. We went to
a restaurant, the beach and when we came home we talked for hours.
Before we went to bed you asked me a question, you asked me if I
wanted to marry you. It was the happiest moment of my entire life,
and the special moment we had later that night, if you know what I
mean.”
Barney looked like
he had seen a ghost, he had to get out of there. He looked around for
the nearest exit, it was the front door and she was blocking it. He
stood up and said “Everything that happened last night does not
exist anymore. It never happened, I’m leaving now.”
“Not so fast”
Alberta said. “You are my future husband, my dream and you are
mine. You will leave when I let you”.
Barney was
frightened, what the hell was he going to do?
