Fan Fic 2nd draft - Lost Letters

So below is my SECOND draft for my fan fic. Ive made a few changes, including totally getting rid of the first letter from the first draft. Ive also taken a few of the details out about what they have been doing, like how many times theve met etc. The letters will now start with the friend just needing to tell someone how happy they are. PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK AND ASK QUESTIONS :-)

 

 

 September 16, 1992

 

Dear friend

I know you wrote to me for sometime without reply, but I think ive managed to track down your address and Id like it if I could write to you now. you see theres not many people I can talk to because people don't like to understand, but I know you do. 

 You know that feeling when you first look at someone and cant stop looking? Not in the same way you stare at a person with only one leg, or a car accident, but more of a ‘why do I feel like I know you?’ kind of way? Like I know I don’t know him at all, but I feel like I either do, or I really want to. And then when you speak to that person, you feel like an idiot because you think youve said something stupid and youre scared they wont like you because of it. I felt this for the first time a week ago and I cant stop thinking about him. Ive talked to him twice since and I feel amazing whenever im around him. It sounds a little crazy because I hardly know him, but im feeling things ive never felt before. Im going to call him james, because I don’t want you finding out who he is.   Reading your letters about how you felt with sam, im sure your one of the few people that actually understand these feelings.

I hope its okay that ive tracked you down and that I am writing this letter. I just need someone to talk to.

 

Love always

P

 

October 28, 1992

 

Dear friend

 I havnt written in a while because like you, ive been enjoying the moment. James and I have been hanging out heaps. I found out just after I wrote the last letter that he had a partner, this upset me a wee bit but it was ok because we hadn’t even kissed. A week arfter he told me, he said that his partner was moving away and he wasn't going to be seeing that person anymore. I didn’t really understand this because I don’t know why anyone would want to move away from james. I also found it a little strange that james wasn’t really that upset about it. Maybe hes not one for sharing his feeling, or maybe he was happy about it, im not sure.  I like talking to him and being around him, he shows me a whole new perspective on life that I didn’t even know exsisted. Hes really into typography, which I found a little weird at first but he sees things in ways no one else does.

 Not long after his partner left he started acting differently towards me. telling me im cute all the time and asking me to go with him to partys etc. Then one night I was at a friends party and he was there. I had had a little too much to drink and we danced alot. We kissed that night. It was my very first kiss and it felt exactly how it looked in the movies. We went home that night and just cuddled. Since then things have been different, not in a bad way, but a good way. we see each other lots and it makes me happy.

 I really do wish you could reply if you got the chance, just as assurance that you are getting my letters. He makes me feel infinite Charlie.

 

Love Always

P

 

November 15, 1992

 

Dear Friend

Do you remember how you were saying that its good to save up as much of the good times, so you could remember them in the bad times and it wont seem so bad anymore? I don't think I saved up enough.

The last time james stayed was the best of them all. I don’t want to go into detail but I tried to force myself to do things I wasn’t ready for. For him. He told me to stop because he could tell what was going on. We ended up just cuddling and he told me how much he liked me and we just whispered to eachother until 3am when we both fell asleep. He had to leave early in the morning for college and when he left he gave me the biggest kiss and said he would see me later. That was two weeks ago.

Ive seen him twice and both times hes had to rush off. Phone calls have been short. hes been acting differently.

Im scared I did something to put him off. Was it too much for me to try to do things with him? has he found the real me and hes changed his mind? I don’t know what to do Charlie. I need a reply to this one. Please.

P

 

December 2, 1992

 

Dear Charlie

 Its all turned to shit. I saw him at a party last night and he was different. He took me to one of those bars were people like us go and although he kissed me and held my hand, he was different. We fell asleep on a friends couch and he wouldn’t cuddle me. I tried to talk to him and he told me to ‘wait till we were sober’. The next morning I asked him what was going on and its over Charlie. he told me he still feels the same but 'cant be with anyone right now'. Its fucking crap Charlie. If someone likes someone, why cant they just be together? Why cant I have what I want? Ive been pleasing everyone else my whole life so why cant I just have my moment.

 Its really shit that you havnt replied by the way. I always end up having to deal with this crap by myself. I just need someone right now.


P

 

 

December13, 1992

 

Charlie

 Way to fucking go with replying. I seriously just need some to talk to that understands but your not there. Are you even getting these letters? Or are you just choosing to ignore me now that your better?

Ive tried being his friend and I cant do it. I see him sometimes, talking to other guys and being happy and it hurts. I put my heart on the line for the first time and this is how I get treated? Ive asked him if we can just hang out and take things easy but he wont give me a straight answer. He says that one day, we may be able to try again but why should I have to sit back and watch him be happy, if hes making me feel like this? Ive written letters to him, and I think they are ruining things. Ive told him exactly how I feel and I don’t think hes going to want to be my friend. Everythings shit Charlie. Just shit.

 This is going to be my last letter to you by the way. I don’t see why I should pour my heart out for anyone else if they cant even take the time to help me.

P

 

Natasha's Fan Fiction -draft (not finished obviously)

My Dearest Gatsby,

Oh how I miss you Gatsby. You were always the same young man I first met in our younger years. I never meant for this to happen to you, because I thought we would love each other forever and ever and ever and grow old together. That was the plan wasn’t it? We loved each other didn’t we? It may have seemed like I didn’t love you the way you loved me but I did Jay, I really did.

I have always thought about you, and you and I, and our happy lives together, you and I. I still think about us today. My life is nothing but dull, dead, and boring. Tom doesn’t love me like you do, and he still has a number of mistresses that he thinks I don’t know about.

Why didn’t I listen to you Jay, why? Why didn’t I just leave Tom, that heartless, heartless man I call my soul mate, my husband. My life is full of regret, even more now you have left me here, alone. Tom barely talks to me, he ignores me actually. It hurts. My heart, it hurts now you’re not here. Oh how I miss you Gatsby.

I heard about your funeral. I got letters from Nick regarding the day, yet I ignored them. Only because of Tom though, because I love you Jay. I would have come, but it is complicated at home, and my life was less than perfect and you know I need perfection. I couldn’t handle that you were gone so fast. You meant, and you mean so much to me, and I couldn’t have been able to control my emotions in front of everyone else there. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

I miss you Gatsby. I really, really do. I don’t know how I will ever be the same without you, or if I could ever be in love with any other man. I will always love you, and I want you to know that I regret leaving you when we were younger, my mind got the better of me, and I didn’t realise my love for you until now.

With love,

Daisy Buchannan

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

To My Friend Jay,

Oh Jay, you have gone too soon. You did not deserve to go like this. You were a decent man, with a good, generous heart. Everyone else didn’t know the Jay Gatsby that I knew. A mysterious man, with a trunk full of money, a mansion, and raging parties was not the true Jay. The Jay I knew, was determined, and strived for the things he wanted, and to achieve his dreams. Though you may have been too determined at times, that the dream of winning the love of your life back, blinded you, losing who you were, leading you to take dangerous risks, resulting in an unfortunate death, and I don’t mean yours Jay.

I tried telling you, warning you that you cannot repeat the past, as everything changes and people change. But Daisy was the only thing on your mind ever since the relationship between you two in your younger years. I know you loved her, and she is the reason behind those Saturday night parties, but clearly, she had moved on with her life, with a husband, and a young daughter. She may have said things and done things to you that gave you the idea that things could be back to the way they used to be, but Daisy and Tom are the type of people, whose lives are perfect to others, but no matter how much they own, or how much money they have, they will always want more and will never be grateful for what they have. Their lives are actually dull and uneventful, and they will do things that can mess up other people’s lives, and then leave at the drop of a hat, without feelings of guilt. Heartless, heartless people you may call them, heartless indeed.

                You Gatsby, being the loyal man you are, saw nothing of this carry on and betrayal, and saw Daisy’s positive attributes over her negative.

                Yours Sincerely,

Nick Carraway

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

To My Son,

                I haven’t seen you in a very long time, I am glad to be near you once again. It makes me upset that it is on these circumstances though. To be honest son, the last time I saw you I wouldn’t have thought your life would end up like this, living in a mansion with butlers and maids, the host of famous Saturday night parties, and having the amount of money that you had. Who would’ve thought a young boy from a poor family in Minnesota would grow up to live a life full of luxury. I guess the book you called your schedule helped you leave and earn a life like this.

                I am very proud of you James. Almost every day I stare at the picture I keep in my jacket pocket of where you live, and I think about the life you have now and feel disappointed in myself that I couldn’t have given you that myself, as a father. I wanted you to know that me and your mother only wanted the best for you, and we did truly try our hardest to raise you up in the nicest environment we could. We did try son.

                I wanted you to know that we just wanted the best for you. If I only you knew that James. I wish I could have told you that and spoken to you before now, I regret it. I miss you, and I will always love you James.

Until we meet again,

Henry C. Gatz

Fan Fic draft - Lost letters

So below is my very first draft for my fan fic. Ive made it from the perspective of the friend that Charlie is writing to in the book. The friend needs help with some stuff and Charlie wont reply.  Please note that im yet to decide on a name for the friend (hence the -------), so any help would be appreciated. PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK AND ASK QUESTIONS :-)

 

September 1, 1992

 

Dear friend

 When I first started getting your letters, to be honest I was a little freaked out. I don’t know who you are and youre sharing some pretty deep stuff with me. After reading your letters though, I understand why you just need someone to talk to. I managed to track down your address so I could reply. I hope you don’t mind, but I just need someone to talk to at the moment as well. Your teachers right, you are a very talented writer, and you need to write as much as you can. Your friends sam and Patrick sound awesome, to be honest I wish I had friends like that. You see I grew up not being myself and avoiding getting close to people just in case they found out the real me. Ive since moved far away from home and im trying to start again, which is hard when you don’t know anyone and youve left everything behind.

You seem to have had a pretty rough life so far with everything to do with your aunt Helen (I hope you don’t mind me mentioning it) and your friend micheal from school. I can only imagine the pain you must of felt. Your such a fighter though, and I admire youre ability to get through. I must say though that your perspective on life is pretty damn awesome and I love your honesty. Honesty would have to be my favourite trait in people, you see I tend to over think things and I let things build up inside until I just cant hold it anymore.

Anyway I hope your ok and everythings well with you. If you get the chance to write back, that would awesome, but if you don’t its cool. People have lives to live.

 

Love always

------------

 

September 16, 1992

 

Dear friend

 I know I havnt yet received a reply from you, but I just wanted to write and let you know how great things are. i totally understand your perspective of life going through stages. At some points, everything and everyone is happy, and its good to save those moments up for when life isn’t so great, and at the moment im saving.

 You know that feeling when you first look at someone and cant stop looking? Not in the same way you stare at a person with only one leg, or a hot guy, but more of a ‘why do I feel like I know you?’ kind of way? Like I know I don’t know him at all, but I feel like I either do, or I really want to. And then when you speak to that person, you feel like an idiot because you think youve said something stupid and youre scared they wont like you because of it. I felt this for the first time a week ago and I cant stop thinking about him. Ive talked to him twice since and I feel amazing whenever im around him. It sounds a little crazy because I hardly know him, but im feeling things ive never felt before. Im going to call him james, because I don’t want you finding out who he is.   Reading your letters about how you felt with sam, im sure your one of the few people that actually understand these feelings.

 I hope things are good with you and your still on track and not having any black outs. Im assuming that your lack of letter writing is a good thing, and your busy participating.

 

Love always

----------

 

October 28, 1992

 

Dear friend

 I havnt written in a while because like you, ive been enjoying the moment. James and I have been hanging out heaps. I found out just after I wrote the last letter that he had a partner, this upset me a wee bit but it was ok because we hadn’t even kissed. A week arfter he told me, he said that his partner was leaving the country to ‘further his study’ and they were going to be ‘calling it quits’. I didn’t really understand this because I don’t know why anyone would want to let james go. I also found it a little strange that james wasn’t really that upset about it. Maybe hes not one for sharing his feeling, or maybe he was happy about it, im not sure.  I like talking to him and being around him, he shows me a whole new perspective on life that I didn’t even know exsisted. Hes really into typography, which I found a little weird at first but he sees letters and words in weird ways. He was telling me once about how to him, letters arnt just tools for writing, they are images in themselves and there is ‘nothing more beautiful than the curvature of an ‘S’ or the sternness of a ‘T’’ I know it does sound silly but he sees things in ways other people don’t.

 Not long after him and his partner split up he started acting differently towards me. Complimenting me all the time and asking me to go with him to partys etc. Then one night I was at a friends party and he was there. I had had a little too much to drink and we danced alot. We kissed that night. It was my very first kiss and it felt exactly how it looked in the movies. We went home that night and just cuddled. Since then he has been over four times and we have been hanging out more than ever.i kissed him in public when we went to the movies, which was hard for me because some people don’t like people like us doing that.

 I really do wish you could reply if you got the chance, just as assurance that you are getting my letters. He makes me feel infinite Charlie.

 

Love Always

------------

 

November 15, 1992

 

Dear Friend

 I don’t think I saved enough good times. The last time james stayed was the best of them all. I don’t want to go into detail but I tried to force myself to do things I wasn’t ready for. For him. He told me to stop because he could tell what was going on. We ended up just cuddling and he told me how much he liked me and we just whispered to eachother until 3am when we both fell asleep. He had to leave early in the morning for college and when he left he gave me the biggest kiss and said he would see me later. That was two weeks ago. Ive seen him twice and both times hes had to rush off. Phone calls have been short. In all honesty he was sick for a few days so that may be why, but im starting to not feel good about it.

 Im scared I did something to put him off. Was it too much for me to try to sleep with him? Has he found the real me? I don’t know what to do Charlie. I need a reply to this one. Please.

 ----------

 

December 2, 1992

 

Dear Charlie

 Its all turned to shit. I saw him at a party last night and he was different. He took me to one of those bars were people like us go and although he kissed me and held my hand, he was different. We fell asleep on a friends couch and he wouldn’t cuddle me. I tried to talk to him and he told me to ‘wait till we were sober’. The next morning I asked him what was going on and he told me everything, About how he doesn’t want to be with someone right now. About how he needs time to grow and be himself. About how he still likes me but just needs to wait a while. About how he wants to still be friends. Its fucking crap Charlie. If someone likes someone, why cant they just be together? Why cant I have what I want? Ive been pleasing everyone else my whole life so why cant I just have my moment.

 Its really shit that you havnt replied by the way. I always end up having to deal with this crap by myself. I just need someone right now.

 

-------

 

December13, 1992

 

Charlie

 Way to fucking go with replying. I seriously just need some to talk to that understands but your not there. Are you even getting these letters? Or are you just choosing to ignore me now that your better?

 Ive tried being his friend and I cant do it. I see him sometimes, talking to other guys and being happy and it hurts. I put my heart on the line for the first time and this is how I get treated? Ive asked him if we can just hang out and take things easy but he wont give me a straight answer. He says that one day, we may be able to try again but why should I have to sit back and watch him be happy, if hes making me feel like this? Ive written letters to him, and I think they are ruining things. Ive told him exactly how I feel and I don’t think hes going to want to be my friend. Everythings shit Charlie. Just shit.

 This is going to be my last letter to you by the way. I don’t see why I should pour my heart out for anyone else if they cant even take the time to help me.

 ---------

 

Natasha Fiatau -Links on other Great Gatsby fan fictions

I have changed my angle that I will take on my fan fiction of The Great Gatsby

I have found some links that have written poems and fan fictions talking about the aftermath of Gatsby's death and how characters reacted to it. This way, you will get to see the different attitudes and outlooks on Gatsby's life from several point of views. The characters that will have letters so far will be:

• Nick Carraway
• Tom and Daisy Buchanan
• Jordan
• maybe Gatsby's father (which I need to research more about his part in the book/film).

Jay with Love from Nick
This is a poem that was written from Nick Carraway's point of view of how he reacted to Gatsby's death. This made me think about writing different letters from other characters to Gatsby either to be read out at his funeral or put into his grave with him at his funeral.

The characters writing letters could be Nick Carraway, Tom and Daisy Buchanan, Gatsby's Father, and Jordan. The letters will be different as these characters knew different sides to Gatsby, and had their own thoughts about Gatsby's life.

Daisy at Gatsby's grave
This fan fiction was an interesting read as it is from Daisy's point of view. It is hard to believe that she went and visited Gatsby's grave, as she didn't attend his funeral or send a letter or anything.

You can tell by the dialogue of Daisy and Nick that Nick is still angry and disappointed in Daisy. He is surprised to see her kneeling at Gatsby's grave, and is not falling for her fake, innocent talk and excuses. I will use some ideas from this for Daisy's letter to get a better idea of what her attitude towards Gatsby is now and her point of view. From reading this, they have changed it to Daisy leaving Tom Buchanan and realising her love for Gatsby. It took her long enough to decide that, and now Gatsby is dead and nothing can be done about it.

Borne back ceaselessly into the past
This fan fiction is also another way that Daisy's life after Gatsby's death could end up like. Tom could continue to treat her badly and cheat on her with several other women years after Gatsby's death, and his other love/mistress Myrtle Wilson. I only read the first chapter of this fan fiction but I can already understand the kind of life that Daisy now lives.

In her letter, I can put in a small part about her daughter as she would be much older, depending on how long after the death I write these letters.

Gatsby's Vigil
I really enjoyed reading this small fan fiction as it has a twist at the end which is very unexpected. It is about Nick grieving about Jay's passing, and Daisy coming to visit Gatsby's open coffin after running and leaving her husband Tom. She is a wreck and cannot control her emotions when she sees Gatsby laying their in his coffin. In the end, Nick goes back into the room to check on Daisy, expecting to see her saying her good-byes, when he discovers that Daisy isn't moving. In this fan fiction, the writer say that she dies of grief, which is kind of hard to believe, as i was expecting her to have poisoned or shot her self instead.

hourglass
This fan fiction is interesting as it is about Daisy's life which revolves around the party scene and having a good time. While reading this, the impression I got if Daisy was that she is a careless person with no responsibilities. It is like she never grew up or matured, and what she wants she gets. I don't really like this kind of Daisy as I would rather her have the personality that she has now, still being careless but more mature and sensible, as she has a young child.

Tama's Fan Fiction Draft / Plan

Alice in Wonderland Fan Fic

     My Characters

• Alice
• Red Queen
• White Rabbit
• Cheshire 

My General idea is kind of a wonderland on crack and everything is twisted and Alice is a drug addict  or a completely different approach on Alice by making her a serial killer running through wonderland taking revenge on anything and anyone.

The general idea of a dark twisted wonderland lures me in but its such a common used theme within Alice in Wonderland fan fiction that I want to some how make it different but still be the theme of being twisted and different but enjoyable.

Fan Fictions Links

Wonderland

Critical Evaluation: I find this story interesting and that it relates to my idea of Alice being an outcast but also being troubled, I like the general idea of Alice being different, the writing style is really well done and the way it is written is similar to my writing style, I feel this would be a good guide line to go by because the story express Alice in a different light then usual.

Alice In Wonderland

Critical Evaluation: This fan fiction was pretty raw and messy, the authors ideas were all over the place making it hard for me to really get their general concept/idea of the story. I thought the general idea of adding iron man to the story could have opened the doors for multiple story lines and characters crossovers but the author seem lack interest or just generally lack of creativity, it would be perfect if you were trying to put a child to sleep.  

Alice in Wonderland

Critical Evaluation: I liked the way the author started by painting a picture in the readers mind of the characters of two little girls that Alice meets, also like the style of writing that the author decided to go with, I'm interested in what approach and direction they'll go down with the story because even though its only the first chapter the options are limitless and also what roles the little girls will play in the story. 

Underworld

Critical Evaluation: I like the idea of combining the Underworld with Alice in Wonderland because of the contrast of the two. Alice in Wonderland is child's movie but giving it aspects of the Underworld made me interested because of my own interest in a darker side of things and I like the idea of showing Wonderland in a dark sense. The writing style isn't really to my liking because it just feels like a novel and the actual layout of the lines just makes it hard for me to keep focus. I do not want to write in a similar layout of this fanfic.

My Fault

Critical Evaluation: Its short and sweet, the writing style is appealing because its easy to read and stay interested, the actual context of the poem paints a picture in the readers head so I also want to lure the reader in and paint visuals in their minds. This is going to be a good reference for my writing.

DRAFT

"Dear little Alice, please don’t cry, tears of woe won’t help you get by.

I know you feel scared, lost and alone. Since you cannot find your way back home.

Have strange things happened, is there anything I need to know?

Did you taste things that made you shrink or grow? Did you suffer any... please, say it isn't so. I will help you out, just wait and see, you’ll be glad you found a cat... like me."

That was the first thing that Chesch ever said to me when I met him down the dark alley on that humid day, he was a stranger. Yet the scars on his face and big green eyes seemed so familiar, there was something about the way he danced towards me that lured me to him.

"What’s wrong Alice don’t you remember me? I thought the time we once spent together meant something to you? Don’t you remember all the fun we had?”

He was insane, completely mad but I couldn’t stop staring into his eyes.
Those eyes, big green eyes.

I don’t understand what you’re talking about? We’ve never met before nor spent any time together, I claimed as I started to walk away from him

“Suppressing all the memories really must have taken its toll on your poor mind, don’t you feel exhausted, worn out, trying to obey all the orders that are forced upon you, tire-“

A little… I muttered.

“What about the rabbit. Don’t you miss him?”

I froze.
What rabbit was he talking about and why did all this feel so familiar.
“What rabbit are you talking about?” as I turned to face Chesch.
Those eyes, big green eyes; had me in a kind of trance, what was he talking about. Was there really memories that I've suppressed but how can I not remember suppressing my own memories? It didn't make sense but I wanted to know more.
He grinned as he danced around me.

“I knew you weren't weak, now don’t you worry your pretty little head about anything all will become clear with the help of this”
He swayed towards me then reached into his jacket and pulled out a syringe filled with black liquid and printed on it was a white outline of a rabbit.

What is this? I asked.

“It’s the truth, its answers. Your past and your future.”

My past…
His grin was huge almost non-human, but without a thought I got an overwhelming feeling and stabbed the syringe into my arm and injected the black fluid into my arm.

I felt norm-
I spoke to soon, as I fell to my knees everything went blurry and I saw stars…but they weren't stars they were rabbits. The sound of Cheschs laugh was the last thing I heard as it all faded to black.

Forgetting's just forgetting, except when it's not. Then they call it something else. I'd like to forget what you did. I've tried, but I can't.

I felt the wind dance around my body as regained consciousness , where the fuck was I?
It wasn't the alley where I met Chesch, in fact it didn't look like anywhere in London I've ever been before, It was a place out of a fairy tale. A potheads fairy tale.

Every tree, every flower, even the rocks looked like they were in pain. Crying to be put out of their own misery, walking along the path past all the trees and flowers they all seemed to have a way of staring at me, I mean how can a tree not have a face and still stare right at me.

"Alice....... Alice.....Don't...."
Gently blew through the wind as I was walking past the lifeless trees, all of a sudden a huge gust of wind blew hundreds of leaves towards me and as they hit me they shattered into thousands of tiny pieces, as the dust blew past me my clothes started to change, just like a like a rock smashing a window my dress shattered off me and underneath was a skimpy little dominatrix looking dress, I seriously looked like I could be back in that alley selling myself.

Apart from the skimpy costume I could feel something cold hitting my back every time I took a step, as i reached behind to see what was on the bow of the dress it appeared that my bow was actually made out of two saber claws.
As I glanced at them and tried to figure out where the hell I was and why my dress was made out of a weapon it happened again.
It went black.


 

Taylor's Fan Fiction Draft

I've decided to write from lindsay's point of view as I see her as the most crucial character in the series, and I think that by only writing from her perspective I can develop a sense of ambiguity for the other characters and focus on how she alone see's things, but also develop a story of how the outsider became the insider. Im thinking about having the last paragraph be a letter written from Daniel to Lindsay to tie everything up as I am going to focus mainly on their relationship. I really want to portray her transition from Geek to Freak and really emphasize the comparisons between the two sides.

LINDSAY

Prologue

This isn't going to be one of those pretty girl diaries where I talk about how I met the boy of my dreams and scribble his name all over and talk about how beautiful and deep his brown eyes are or how his smile could make me melt or match the fire of the sun or whatever you might think this may be but it's not it's the long string of thoughts and specific feelings like anger and overwhelming tension and none of that 'I don't know what i'm feeling but it sure feels like butterflies' bullshit and it's definitely not all rose petals and american dreams either so you better get used to it if you're gonna keep reading because you're not going to find what you're looking for if you've got a sweet tooth for sugar coatings.


3rd of Whatever, 1980fuckit

You know what? Before I came to McKinnley I was a nobody. I could have walked right through the halls of my previous life, a brain... a geek, and no one would have noticed one bit. But now, after flipping the quo of my life on its ass - how did this all even happen?- people notice. The Freaks noticed. Daniel, noticed. Is this the life that I wanted? Or was it the sweet blanket of anonymity that I loathed at first but now craved with the desire of a man stranded in the desert longing for his oasis. I did, do, want to be where I am now, but I hate all this complication that comes with knowing, well... Everyone.

BEFORE.
I like that word, before.
BE - It has a resounding emptiness yet is full of all the things that the future holds.
and FORE -  The front, the leader. Me leading myself to where I will be. Shit i've gotten sappy. I used to live my life in equations before I met the Freaks and I was happy doing so, I was happy being the little robot I was, spurting out numbers and 'yes, Sir', 'no, Sir' and 'HOW FUCKING HIGH SIR'.  But then all of a sudden,  I wasn't happy with just being happy. Did you know that there are at least 48 variations of 'Happy'? And i'm okay with just being a flat one. How fucking depressing Lindsay. I wanted more, I wanted my 'after' to be better than my 'before'. Hello I am Lindsay and Angst is my middle name. No, scratch that.
I'm Lindsay Fucking Weir. And I'm in-fucking-love with Daniel Fucking DeSario. I would say sorry for all the swearing but this time I have no one to answer to except myself and I can do WHATEVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE.


It is the 6th of Asshole, 600BC. WELCOME.

So it's been a while since I ended it with Nick and I had figured that by now Daniel would have started talking to me properly again. It took everything I had in me - which by the way, is equal to negative the mass of the sun divided by zero impolde-on-itself-self-hatred - to tell Daniel how I felt about him. This included dropping a huge L bomb on the poor sonofabitch while at the same time betraying my best friend and closest confidant bar Daniel, Kim. Who also just by some sick karmic joke is his ex girlfriend. I am a turds turd, a freak/geek mutant turd turd of a person. I reek of turd. TURD TURD FUCKINGTURD! I needed to say it and now have accepted my turd status so, moving along...
It's no secret that I am utterly crushed by the silence and following pit of absence that Daniel has left in his wake - no doubt giving me and this crummy town the split by now - but I guess that with this huge FUCK YOU to the face I have received, I have now forced myself to move past from the past and try and admit that while my feelings were very real, his were not reciprocated in reality. I'm pretty sure they were though. There is no way I made that kiss up, it was too vivid. I can still feel every part of me that he came into contact with.

'If you could be anyone or thing you wanted to be, who would it be?'
'Not you, nor I, or anyone else in this world.'
-please note here that I am a complete and utter retard-
'Getting all poetic on me huh?'
'Nah. Its just, I, uh. Stuff it never mind.'
'C'mon Linds, tell me tell me.'
Why did you have to look in me. Don't touch me with the hands i've been wanting to be touched by for so long, Don't smile that smile only you can master.

Don't make me fall in love with you more than I can give.

'Daniel,' at least I started off well, 'I don't know how to tell you this and I love Kim too as a friend, my best friend and I know I'd be hurting Nick too and I'm even risking our entire friendship over this and this will forever change everything always no matter how you react but I think it worth it because' and here it goes, brace yourself for detonation 'I. Love. You'

Ka-fucking-boom. 

'I..uh, Linds, I..'

Explosions and fire, unidentifiable wreckage.

'...'

No survivors were found.

Then after the longest silence I ever could have imagined possible he does the one thing I never intended on having to deal with. In reality that is...
'I love you too.' and then he leans forward and kisses every fiber of my anatomy and cognitive system that make me. His.

It's a goddamn christmas miracle!

So you can imagine how bummed I am.

8th of Bastard, Ihateeveryone.

I got a letter today, and in typical DeSario fashion it was stuck to my bedroom window with that god awful Bazooka Gum that he chews. I haven't found my guts as of yet so the letter is still folded up and waiting for me to read it... Please be something I want to read. I've had enough shit today, especially with Nick who now has a new bitch of a girlfriend. Not that she has anything on the first one. Well shit, guess I better read this letter.


Epilogue.

DANIEL

Lindsay Dear Lindsay
Linds, i'm not good at this kinda shit. you already know that I guess. I know I can be a class A dick hole like those meatheads on the football team but I never think that I will end up hurting you like I do. I don't know what it is but  You're the only person that has been real good to me and I love ya for it. Shit what am I sayin, fuck it Lindsay I love you. I've loved you before since the first time you talked to me. Shit girl i've been falling for you before you set foot in this crummy town. I know it's no love note from one of those fancy writers you read about but this is me.
I love you Linds. hope you still feel the same. I found that e .e comings cummings guy you rattle on about. I like this part of one of his letters or poems or whatever. It probably means something different to what I think it does but I guess it reminds me of us or we or, shit okay here it is

i carry your heart with me
i carry it in my heart
i am never without it
anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling

-D

Five examples of How I Met Your Mother Fanfictions:

Robins Birthday

How I Met Your Mother

Have you met Ted?

I love New Jersey

Suit Square Off